


Lady's Man

by silverraven



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Unhappy Ending, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-01
Updated: 2010-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-09 20:50:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/91473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverraven/pseuds/silverraven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It went on for months before Leonard finally admitted to himself that he did want to watch, that he <i>liked</i> to watch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lady's Man

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for [](http://thalassa-ipx.livejournal.com/profile)[**thalassa_ipx**](http://thalassa-ipx.livejournal.com/) at [](http://community.livejournal.com/st_santa/profile)[**st_santa**](http://community.livejournal.com/st_santa/).
> 
> My thanks to [](http://kate.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**kate**](http://kate.dreamwidth.org/) for the beta and all her wonderful suggestions.

Leonard didn’t know why he let Jim drag him to a bar almost every Saturday night. The only exceptions were if he was working in the hospital or on-call. The only thing worse than regular Saturday nights was when Jim wanted to go on a weeknight. Leonard would grumble and argue, but in the end, he went.

It'd been two years and he stopped questioning it long ago. Jim lead and he followed, that's just the way it was.

It might be a new dive every week, but once they were in the bar it was always the same thing. They would find an empty table, each with a beer in hand. Jim would share his latest exploits, and Leonard would roll his eyes, one side of his mouth curving up in a smile without meaning to. Eventually it’d be Leonard’s turn to talk, about whatever was on his mind that night. When the beer was gone, Leonard would go get another and Jim would start roaming. Cruising the bar until he found whatever he was looking for, and if she shot him down, he moved on to the next. It was simple, it was predictable, just the way Leonard liked it. It hadn't always been like that. In the beginning, Jim had looked for pairs, one for him and one for Leonard. Didn't take too long to knock _that_ notion right out of Jim's head.

Casual sex was something Leonard didn't do, couldn't do. Sex should mean something, should be with someone you cared about. He hadn't been with anyone since Jocelyn. She'd been his fourth girlfriend, the third girl he'd slept with, and the only one he'd fallen in love with.

Leonard McCoy had been raised to be a gentleman. One night stands, nameless fucks, it wasn't him. Jim Kirk? He was a lady's man, a true horndog.

So Leonard had learned to deal with it, and Jim had learned to not to bring his conquests back to their dorm room... at least not while Leonard was there.

Tonight was different, though. It was Joanna's fourth birthday and Leonard was good and drunk. He had no idea where Jim had disappeared to and in truth, he didn't care.

Thirty minutes.

That's all the longer he'd been allowed to talk to Joanna. Seeing her on a transmission screen, so much bigger than he remembered, so different, and yet, still his baby girl - it made him want to hold her, pull her into his arms and kiss her forehead. Wish her a happy birthday the way a father should.

Instead, he was sitting in some grungy bar, alone, drowning his sorrows in whiskey. He hadn't told Jim it was Joanna's birthday - it was just another Saturday night for the kid.

When his bladder was so full his eyes were turning yellow, Leonard stumbled to the far corner of the bar, down a hallway and through a door he thought led to the men's room. Turned out it was a back door and that was how Leonard learned what Jim did when they didn't go back to her place.

He knew he should look away, that watching Jim fuck some petite redhead against the wall wasn't right. He wasn't a peeping tom. He told his legs to move but they didn't budge. Told his eyes to turn away but they only focused harder.

Even worse, he felt his cock hardening. Goddammit, he didn't want this. He _didn't_. This wasn’t him, he wasn't the type of man who got his jollies from watching others. He shouldn’t be watching this, the way her pebbled nipples strained against her thin top, the way her pale thighs were wrapped around Jim's - fuck!

Leonard couldn't look away.

Afterwards, he was unable to get those images out of his head. Several weeks later, he stropped trying to. He supposed he was lucky that most nights the girl took Jim home with her, that Leonard could just finish his drink and return to campus.

Then there were _those_ nights. Nights when Leonard knew they were just outside, in the alley, and each time he told himself to stay put, to wait for Jim to return.

He never did.

He would stick to the shadows, out of sight but with a clear view of what was going on between Jim and tonight's girl. He would call himself twenty kinds of fool, a pervert, getting his kicks from watching a fast and dirty fuck, but he watched.

It went on for months before Leonard finally admitted to himself that he did want to watch, that he _liked_ to watch.

~ ~ ~ ~

The grin had barely left Jim's face all day, not an hour went by when Leonard didn't hear _they're giving me the Enterprise, Bones, the Enterprise_ or _youngest captain in starfleet history_ fall from Jim's lips.

The bar scene was different that night. Everyone, officers and strangers alike, crowding around Jim, smiling at him, enthusiastically patting his back while Leonard sat alone at a small table. He didn't mind. The kid deserved it; he'd _finally_ gotten something good.

Guess he couldn't call Jim 'kid' anymore. Not when he was now Leonard's commanding officer. _Captain_, he thought, and snorted in amusement.

An hour later, he saw Jim leaving, arm wrapped around a leggy brunette. They didn't head to the parking lot.

Leonard rose a minute or two later.

Darkness engulfed him as soon as he stepped outside, the air, humid and hot, had his skin damp within moments. This May was a warmer and wetter one than usual in San Francisco. He tread carefully to the alleyway, noticing a small light fixture on the corner of the bar immediately and stayed well away from it.

When he turned the corner, his breath caught, his stomach lodging itself somewhere in the vicinity of his throat.

_Jim._

His face illuminated by the glow of the light fixture, eyes clenched shut as lust and pleasure blossomed over his face. Gently biting his already swollen lower lip, stifling the noises coming from him.

Leonard couldn't so much as blink, his eyes riveted on Jim, drinking in the sight of him.

The top of Jim's chest was also lit, his shirt laying on the ground, solid muscular shoulders, golden skin covered with a patch of hair between his pecs...

_Oh._

Dear god, this whole time, it had been Jim. Jim that he had been wanting, Jim that had left him hard and aching. Jim. It had always been Jim.

Leonard only saw the back of the girl's head for a second before she trailed kisses down Jim's ribs and seemed to vanish into darkness.

From there it was easy to concentrate all his attention on Jim, feel his mouth go dry at the needy look on Jim's face. So easy to fill his head with thoughts that it was someone else doing this to Jim. So easy to pretend...

_Jim's cock slowly pushing into his mouth, letting Leonard get acquainted with the feel of it, the weight of it, the taste of it on his tongue. Jim's hands cupping his face, and the back of his head as Leonard licked and sucked and swallowed._

Leonard could almost feel it in his mouth, could almost smell the pungent, musky scent of Jim's desire although he was over twenty feet away.

A desperate-sounding whimper escaped Jim's lips and it was that sound that broke the last of Leonard's resolve. Never had he done anything but watch, but now, his hand traveled to his cock almost of its own volition, pressing against it before undoing his pants and curling around his erection.

He stoked himself unhurriedly, closing his eyes, it was so easy...

_Jim's hand gliding up Leonard's cock, cocksure grin on Jim's face before his mouth lavished kisses down Leonard's neck. Jim's fingers brushing against Leonard's mouth, Leonard's tongue peeking out for a taste. Leonard's own hands touching Jim's chest, tweaking a nipple hard, smirking at Jim's resulting yelp. Leonard's palms sliding up Jim's strong arms, reaching to run along Jim's back, pulling him in, closer to Leonard's body. Skin pressed into skin, Jim's grip around Leonard's cock tightening, quickening as their mouths finally,_ finally, _came together._

Leonard gulped in air, suddenly not getting enough oxygen. He could practically feel the buzz underneath his skin, blood roaring, speeding through his veins. His heart thumping like a jackhammer in his chest, excitement and terror mixing. He was scared. Scared of getting caught, scared of wanting this, scared of what he wanted Jim to do to him.

It was fear of the unknown, of trying something new, of letting someone inside, opening him up and splitting him apart. Lord help him, but right now, that was exactly what he wanted.

The sound of Jim's gasps and moans filled his ears, and Leonard firmed his grip, unable to stop, unable to hold back...

_Leonard on his back, Jim's broad fingers working Leonard open, quickly, not letting Leonard adjust to the intrusion before Jim was curling his palms around Leonard's thighs. He spread Leonard’s legs wider, lifting Leonard’s hips and sinking into him with one long, smooth motion, cracking Leonard open._

Leonard gasping, breath hitching harshly as he squirmed under Jim's hold. Jim hushing him for only a moment and then snaping his hips, driving into Leonard, opening Leonard from the inside out.

The pace Jim set was relentless, his blunt nails digging onto Leonard’s thighs. Jim's skin gleaming with a fine sheen of sweat, his hips rocking back and forth, his eyes narrow and intense, desire and heat melting midnight blue into clear sapphire.

Leonard burying his face in Jim's throat, licking long stripes across the salty skin, biting Jim’s shoulder just because he could. Leonard locking his legs around Jim's waist, his nails clawing across Jim's back in desperation, spurring Jim on, his hips rolling up toward Jim.

Leonard was shaking so hard he was afraid he'd fall apart, but he never wanted this to end. He was reveling in this, in the guttural and rough as gravel moans coming out of Jim, in the way Jim was shuddering above him, pounding into him again and again, breaking him open and filling him up.

Jim captured Leonard's mouth in a bruising kiss, and - oh God, how bad Leonard wanted this. It was good, so good, he never wanted it to end, never stop. Jim over him, Jim under him, Jim in _him -_

Leonard came into his own hand, in a rush of pleasure and completion and sorrow as the fantasy slipped away, fading. He was unable to hold his weight and slumped against the brick wall, body shivering in a way that had nothing to do with the weather.

It had seemed so real, Jim pressing him down, Jim's cock inside him, the taste of Jim's salty skin against his tongue. He could still feel it, phantom touches on his skin - a loud high pitched moan rang out, instantly reminding Leonard where he was, exactly what was happening in front of him.

He blinked away the last of the haze clouding his mind, saw Jim and the brunette pulling away from each other, Jim bending to retrieve his shirt.

Leonard quickly wiped his hand on the wall next to him and did up his pants. He should leave now, get away while the pair was busy straightening their clothes, but Leonard couldn't help one last look.

He raised his eyes, right into Jim's.

His breath stuttered, body jerking in shock but Jim didn't do anything. Didn't open his mouth, didn't make any move towards Leonard, didn't move at all. There was only his eyes, pinning Leonard in place.

Jim Kirk was a lady's man, Leonard knew that, hell everyone at the academy knew that. They didn't see the looks Jim gave him though, or they hadn't noticed them.

Leonard noticed. He just told himself he didn't, that the look on Jim's face wasn't what he thought it was, didn't mean what he thought it did. Instead, he pretended not to see. Pretended that the girls Jim fucked weren't getting taller, sturdier. That their hair wasn't darkening and shortening.

He shook his head at Jim, meeting his eyes straight on, telling Jim he couldn't do this. His fantasy was just that, a fantasy.

Leonard had let himself fall in love before, knew what happened when it ended, no way was he going to let that happen with Jim. Jim's friendship meant too much to him, _Jim_ meant too much to him.

This year, he'd only gotten _twenty_ minutes to talk to Joanna. He wondered how long it would be before he couldn't talk to her at all, or she wouldn't even want to talk to him. He turned away from Jim. Some things were too great a risk. A glance over his shoulder told him Jim was still staring, still giving him the chance.

Leonard walked away.


End file.
